The UN-Bearable Love

It’s not Unconditional Love it’s
The UN-bearable Love

What can put a stop to such harsh things that philander within us
Sometimes it does feel like a battle of the helms deep (Lord of the rings)
What can Man do against such hate, such cruel tyranny King theoden asks?
…
The answer to that lies in riding the Unbearable Love of Spirit/Truth
The unbearable love that holds it all in one fell swoop of an instance
That makes it all light..
Not our love for Spirit, but Spirit’s love for us..
…
The unbearable love takes care of us..
Make no mistake it’s a war.. We’re waging day in and out..
And make no mistake our Salvation lies only in the Undivided, Unbearable love of our true Spirit..
Not anywhere else, not in the ideas and ways of religion, spirituality, God, humanity..
But just in Unbearable love lies the liberation we truly seek..

For a time we can make ourselves believe it lies somewhere else in someone else..
Chris Martin from Coldplay said what he loves most about it’s music is that..
There’s a homemadeness to it.. It all came from within ourselves he says..
And So does love.. My heart.. So does Love..

It has a homemadeness to it.. Better yet
We are the Source of it..
Because it bears us when nothing else probably will or is capable of..
We are already true and we are already that! We don’t need to do or undo anything to Be that…
The more we see and love from that place you’ll find life becomes bearable because of the Unbearable love we’re already held in. 🤗
The utter simplicity, benevolence and flow of this love.
At one with and risen above all there is..

The Lone Airplane

A short excerpt from a story which is under process..

After the air strip was closed down, there lay a single airplane in these desolate fields for the longest time.. As all the other planes were being cleared out, this one in particular was left behind for some reason. It was a bit of a mystery.. And it was so symbolic of so many things. A lone place, the quiet shepherding out of the other planes..

This one lay there in stillness, motionless, almost poetic. That’s the thing about stuff that’s poetic, sometimes you hate the guts of it, it goes beyond logic. This single aircraft near the rustic old cabin, it was like a place where things came to decay, die and allow a slow causal and casual transition to things. And yet new life was born from there, that was for sure. Where death IS, new life is also always born.

There was a small little lake behind the airstrip and a bit further out were paddy fields.. It was a rocky, stony path down, disheveled in their formation, almost felt like nature wanted to figure out a way, where there wasn’t one.

Maybe it was this that drew Ronnie to the place, the sense of total desolation and yet an inherent quiet aliveness about it. Ronnie spent hours, days and months by himself, just being by the water. They say that water has the quality of healing about it, particularly one which comes from the well spring of the core itself.

He’d often sit on a tall rock, next to the water with the trees swaying in the background, in his whitish jeans and a regular medium size shirt. He wasn’t exactly skinny but neither was he fat, he was what most people would say average built. With his greyish hair, he’d sometimes have ear phones plugged in and keep listening to some kind of music, what he listened to was anybody’s guess.. Although he had occasionally mentioned to the local folk ( or did they pry and find out themselves?) that he was listening to Frank Sinatra’s Noel a lot,,

I am the Un-rejectable, the Unbreakable

For the ones struggling with trauma, anxiety, rejection, depression.

I am the Un-rejectable, the Unbreakable
All the rejections I’ve ever faced have only shown the quantum of love within my heart
Inner and outer devastation’s pointed me straight to The Eternal..
I broke, broke, broke until it expounded in my Gut..
I am the Unbreakable..

In the final count
My trauma couldn’t really hurt me
The tremendous need for control only showed me my hunger for
and naturally brought about a deeper alignment with the Universe.

The desperate attempts to secure love, belonging have brought me to the feet of the Unseen Void the universe is contained in.. time and time again..

Am filled to the fucking brim with the wholeness of the Universe
And the marvelous flaws of being human.. Rugged, grungy, raw
There’s no Other here any longer..
No ‘need’ here anymore..
Just the silent contentment, fulfillment of knowing What I am, and what I am a part of..

There’s no exclusion there ever..
We all know this in our bones..
My eyes are moist, my heart strong, my head clear
I am the Shining Sun(Son) of the Universe.
And We.. the Silent Harmony of it all.

But.. I can Love you

I sent this to a very dear friend recently, and soon realised this is pretty much the ground of all my work, relating and relationships 🙂

I can’t save you, or rescue you my love

I probably can’t even help or support you

But I can BE there!

I can stand

At the border of your pain and suffering

Without invading/interfering, spiritualising, trivializing

I’ve been there, i know what it’s like to have the daylights knocked out of you

To have no direction home..

But..

I can Love you

Unreservedly, completely, in a totally flawed way.
My own totally flawed way.

That may help..

And together we may discover

That we are divine tonight

Maybe the greatest song there is.

And don’t need anything from anyone.

No I cannot save you, heal you, fix you, set you right.

But I can Love you

No i cannot carry anything for you, your karmic debt, your baggage, the way you think and feel.

But I can Love you

And that may just be enough

If there’s one thing that has announced itself in me
It’s this,
In the depths of Hell or the Bliss of Heaven
Love can never be Absent.

The Path of gigantic Goof-ups

For the beloved Misfits!

 

When all else is sorted, you chose the path of gigantic goof ups.

Why?

Because your Heart had strength enough, that’s why.

Because you cared enough, that’s why.

You wanted to let your Heart have a chance.

You didn’t care for your life to look all nice, and all well put together

Someone had to be the joker in the pack, not the ace of spades, not the king or the queen, but the joker with no inherent value

Not recognized in the widely reputed card games

And yet what invisible value.

The power to multiply, mimic, negate all while being invisible. Being itself.

The world looks so down upon goof ups.

It reminds them that things are so out of their control

The Heart lives in the goof ups, the mess ups, the screw ups

Only those brings us closer to the breath of life itself.

 

I know you often feel a pain so unbearable beyond anything you can explain to anyone..

All psychiatrists, therapists, coaches, teachers, friends, Guru’s fail to show you a way

The shallowness of this world throttles and suffocates you..

And you feel like you got it all wrong..

Know you are sacred beloved, you didn’t goof up.

This was your design when the cosmos came into Being.

And when everyone else walked out on you for your goof ups

Exasperated, and you gave up on yourself too..

The stars shine, the waves gently continue kissing the shore, the trees sway lightly

Why? How?

Because Love never gave up on us.. That’s why

And we are Made of Love, that’s How!

Hugging the Moon

I stood there on the night terrace looking at it.
It’s faint ember glow falling upon us,
Pearl like…
So beautiful. So quiet.
It’s silence descended..
It’s dark shades illuminated.
Craters visible from such a distance
Can you imagine there may be such huge holes in the moon.
Holes that add to the beauty, not take away from it.
They told me to lose the moon
The rationalists told me the moon was the cause of a lot of upheaval in our lives
High tide and all..
The detached ones told me to distance from the moon
The spiritualists told ‘me’ to disappear and let only the moon live.

And yet, that night all I was enveloped with..
Was the overwhelming feeling of hugging the moon.
I wanted to hug the moon..
Lavish it with love
Be one with it.
For all that it had given me and Us
Light in the dark
A smile when needed
It is our Heart in all its shades..
I wanted to hug the moon because hugging it seemed like the only sensible thing to do.
It was ME.

Will you join me?

Slow is the Real Sexy!

When nothing seems to work
When all roads seem to lead down the drain.

Just wait.. Wait in quietness and silence.. my heart.

And in that waiting.. fill yourself.. In a way that only you can.
And the world may continue to change or leave you, as required..
Sit by yourself
And sing a song

Nourish your heart
Listen to the birds chirp.
Look at the vast open roads around you
Notice your breath, your gorgeous feet.

It takes a while to realize this though..
That..
Slow is the real Sexy.

Sigh.

It takes only One to Love!

He was angry that day. It was a lot of things that were unfolding in his life. From his relationships, to his job, to all the stuff that was outside his control. And how bad the traffic was. Riding in this traffic was terrible, To top it all of it was raining.. Darn it, right when you don’t need it. He thought to himself.

The rain was so heavy it almost had a stilling quality about it. Stopped everyone and everything dead in its tracks. Obviously it disrupted his plans of where he wanted to go and how fast he wanted to get there. He stood there by the roadside fuming about all the lost joy that life stole from him.

He saw these kids playing in the rain, with a gleam in his eye. That gleam, something about it, reminded him of his childhood. Those endless hours spent on the basketball court, trying to play basketball with a volleyball, go figure! He was amused, smiling.

And then suddenly as he was standing there for a while, it’s as though something twisted inside of him and that made him see. Looking around he was drawn in by the intrigue of all that was happening on the road. He saw the gleaming light of the lamp post that made its way through the green leaves, he saw someone arguing in the car over something vehemently, he saw pedestrians making a dash for it while they were laughing. A certain sacredness arose from nowhere. How incredible this life really was even in its seeming harshness. How gut wrenchingly beautiful A quite calm and warm embrace of Acceptance. It Left him in oneness. The quality of Loving things as they are awoke in him and it became crystal clear, as always.

It takes only One to Love!

What’s my path?

What’s my path someone asked me recently?

My path I thought to myself… Often looks like me crying, on my knees, kissing the ground, accepting defeat, begging for mercy.. Beaten down to a surrender, into absolute humility. I realize how many things I get wrong, how much I fail at, despite trying my best.

I pointed to a totaled van nearby, that’s what my path often looks like. A total and complete wreck.

He gave me a weird stare and said you’re crazy.That’s so not appealing. Do something better with your life.

I smiled back and said maybe I am, who in their right minds would choose this way. But there’s a joy in being so totaled, I can’t explain it. I get to see the amazing cars go by with absolutely no jealousy in my heart. And there’s sort of this broken, vulnerable, sensitive love in my heart for and from the kindness of the Cosmos. That’s got to count for something, right?

He had walked away by then, I was left here in my totaled van, with the sun shining, the broken shelter from it, my feet firmly planted in the ground and the warmth of the summer breeze.

Stripped to the Bare Essentials. – Ground Zero!

It takes great courage and willingness to be stripped down.. And that’s what so much of life is doing… It’s stripping us to our bare… Bare essentials… A ground zero… So that we are tender again, warm again, he-artful again. You see, in a position of true weakness you have no option but to open up… We are anew again.. When Jesus was put on the cross and he bore unimaginable pain, I’ll never forget what he told his mother, when he came in front of her, carrying the cross. He said ‘See mother how I make things anew again’… That touches my heart so so much.. Even today I have tears just thinking about it. While this is so scary for most of us, there is redemption at the heart of it… or so… I’d like to believe.

Am not saying that’s what’s called from us in all our lives all the time, but ground zero isn’t a bad or dangerous place, it’s the place where the infinite is viewed, embodied and allowed. Tell me… If, your life was all okay, would you ever dare to venture deeper, across yourself? And don’t we all need your heart? As much as you have the privilege of having it, we need it to.

Life’s intentions are pure and loving. It has a heart of Gold in doing such things. It knows the beauty it has created and it doesn’t want to give up on that, even though the whole world might… It knows the radiance of Spirit lives within your very own breath… Harsh as it may seem, it’s the awakening of a new dawn, and the dark night shall pass… Because you have made friends with it again and in doing so, its holiness IS upheld.

In nature… Hay reminds us that it once belonged to the early morning Sun as much as it did in the pitch dark of the night… And it gives nonetheless wherever it is to all life… We are fresh and Virgin like… And our hearts have to breathe like that again and sometimes it takes something unimaginably hard to get us to ground zero.. Sometimes that’s not easy. It requires an exquisite openness and humility to bear life’s great adventures and journeys inward/outward, and the courage to love, be reduced to ground zero… as much as we don’t want to take that in.

It’s not an easy process, this life. It’s so hard to walk the curriculum given to us, with so much agonizing us. I get it, we are barely able to breath with all this manipulation, difficulty in the world, we see inside and outside… But it’s okay… Sometimes the pain is needed for redemption… Just like the crucifixion was needed for resurrection…

We’re walking home friend and Am not giving up on you! I love you!