I stood there on the night terrace looking at it.
It’s faint ember glow falling upon us,
So beautiful. So quiet.
It’s silence descended..
It’s dark shades illuminated.
Craters visible from such a distance
Can you imagine there may be such huge holes in the moon.
Holes that add to the beauty, not take away from it.
They told me to lose the moon
The rationalists told me the moon was the cause of a lot of upheaval in our lives
High tide and all..
The detached ones told me to distance from the moon
The spiritualists told ‘me’ to disappear and let only the moon live.
And yet, that night all I was enveloped with..
Was the overwhelming feeling of hugging the moon.
I wanted to hug the moon..
Lavish it with love
Be one with it.
For all that it had given me and Us
Light in the dark
A smile when needed
It is our Heart in all its shades..
I wanted to hug the moon because hugging it seemed like the only sensible thing to do.
It was ME.
Will you join me?
When nothing seems to work
When all roads seem to lead down the drain.
Just wait.. Wait in quietness and silence.. my heart.
And in that waiting.. fill yourself.. In a way that only you can.
And the world may continue to change or leave you, as required..
Sit by yourself
And sing a song
Nourish your heart
Listen to the birds chirp.
Look at the vast open roads around you
Notice your breath, your gorgeous feet.
It takes a while to realize this though..
Slow is the real Sexy.
He was angry that day. It was a lot of things that were unfolding in his life. From his relationships, to his job, to all the stuff that was outside his control. And how bad the traffic was. Riding in this traffic was terrible, To top it all of it was raining.. Darn it, right when you don’t need it. He thought to himself.
The rain was so heavy it almost had a stilling quality about it. Stopped everyone and everything dead in its tracks. Obviously it disrupted his plans of where he wanted to go and how fast he wanted to get there. He stood there by the roadside fuming about all the lost joy that life stole from him.
He saw these kids playing in the rain, with a gleam in his eye. That gleam, something about it, reminded him of his childhood. Those endless hours spent on the basketball court, trying to play basketball with a volleyball, go figure! He was amused, smiling.
And then suddenly as he was standing there for a while, it’s as though something twisted inside of him and that made him see. Looking around he was drawn in by the intrigue of all that was happening on the road. He saw the gleaming light of the lamp post that made its way through the green leaves, he saw someone arguing in the car over something vehemently, he saw pedestrians making a dash for it while they were laughing. A certain sacredness arose from nowhere. How incredible this life really was even in its seeming harshness. How gut wrenchingly beautiful A quite calm and warm embrace of Acceptance. It Left him in oneness. The quality of Loving things as they are awoke in him and it became crystal clear, as always.
It takes only One to Love!
What’s my path someone asked me recently?
My path I thought to myself… Often looks like me crying, on my knees, kissing the ground, accepting defeat, begging for mercy.. Beaten down to a surrender, into absolute humility. I realize how many things I get wrong, how much I fail at, despite trying my best.
I pointed to a totaled van nearby, that’s what my path often looks like. A total and complete wreck.
He gave me a weird stare and said you’re crazy.That’s so not appealing. Do something better with your life.
I smiled back and said maybe I am, who in their right minds would choose this way. But there’s a joy in being so totaled, I can’t explain it. I get to see the amazing cars go by with absolutely no jealousy in my heart. And there’s sort of this broken, vulnerable, sensitive love in my heart for and from the kindness of the Cosmos. That’s got to count for something, right?
He had walked away by then, I was left here in my totaled van, with the sun shining, the broken shelter from it, my feet firmly planted in the ground and the warmth of the summer breeze.
It takes great courage and willingness to be stripped down.. And that’s what so much of life is doing… It’s stripping us to our bare… Bare essentials… A ground zero… So that we are tender again, warm again, he-artful again. You see, in a position of true weakness you have no option but to open up… We are anew again.. When Jesus was put on the cross and he bore unimaginable pain, I’ll never forget what he told his mother, when he came in front of her, carrying the cross. He said ‘See mother how I make things anew again’… That touches my heart so so much.. Even today I have tears just thinking about it. While this is so scary for most of us, there is redemption at the heart of it… or so… I’d like to believe.
Am not saying that’s what’s called from us in all our lives all the time, but ground zero isn’t a bad or dangerous place, it’s the place where the infinite is viewed, embodied and allowed. Tell me… If, your life was all okay, would you ever dare to venture deeper, across yourself? And don’t we all need your heart? As much as you have the privilege of having it, we need it to.
Life’s intentions are pure and loving. It has a heart of Gold in doing such things. It knows the beauty it has created and it doesn’t want to give up on that, even though the whole world might… It knows the radiance of Spirit lives within your very own breath… Harsh as it may seem, it’s the awakening of a new dawn, and the dark night shall pass… Because you have made friends with it again and in doing so, its holiness IS upheld.
In nature… Hay reminds us that it once belonged to the early morning Sun as much as it did in the pitch dark of the night… And it gives nonetheless wherever it is to all life… We are fresh and Virgin like… And our hearts have to breathe like that again and sometimes it takes something unimaginably hard to get us to ground zero.. Sometimes that’s not easy. It requires an exquisite openness and humility to bear life’s great adventures and journeys inward/outward, and the courage to love, be reduced to ground zero… as much as we don’t want to take that in.
It’s not an easy process, this life. It’s so hard to walk the curriculum given to us, with so much agonizing us. I get it, we are barely able to breath with all this manipulation, difficulty in the world, we see inside and outside… But it’s okay… Sometimes the pain is needed for redemption… Just like the crucifixion was needed for resurrection…
We’re walking home friend and Am not giving up on you! I love you!
The room was filled with a grief, and a certain stench of medicines. The air was one of sadness and general repressed silence. Jolappa had come close to completing his time on God’s green earth. Everybody knew it, including him. Sleeping on the bed he was moving around reaching for his medicine.
His eldest son came up and helped him with it.
Basava, the eldest son of Jolappa had tears in his eyes. Although he hadn’t the fondest times with his father, still a father is a father.
Jolappa: Stop crying boy, reserve it for when am dead.
Jolappa was a crude, angry man who didn’t care for much. All he did care for was materials, possessions, money. He didn’t see anything else, nothing mattered that much to him.
All the relatives were slowly piling in, to pay their last respects. Jolappa was in pain. He knew his time was close. He wasn’t letting his feelings out and was being adamant about them almost to the point of isolation. Although death has this ability to bring people closer and also sympathize even if they don’t quite agree or like something, he was testing the limits there. It is said that at the time of death you unconsciously reasure that which you most longed or worked for your entire life. Although the heart really wants something else this unconscious reaction sometimes take over.
Jolappa was holding to his pain when suddenly one of the kids, Channa Basava’s kid started playing with an expensive show piece. The pain intensified he was about to pass away and before dying he whispered his last words, barely audible
Jolappa: Get those children away from the showpiece!
Basava was aghast. What a way to go. What last words to utter.. He shuddered. His father, role model
Later that evening, as he sat by himself with a drink a habit he had picked up quite out of necessity than anything else. When he was younger he took to the bottle because not much made sense, a repressed, suppressed life.
He took to the bottle.. I wonder what we take too..
His son came up to him and asked him what the significance of life was? Basava looked into the eyes of his child and all these reflections were going on within himself..
We think and speak nonsense all our lives. Thinking that we have time to rectify it, we follow ideals and copy other people’s ways in our heads thinking that we have time to find our own. But what if we didn’t? What if this instant was it? Not in a poetic or dramatic way. What if this instant was it? What would we then do? How would we then live?
He didn’t say any of it though.
He whispered in a faint voice: I don’t know..
The child was touched.. perhaps in a long time his father had spoken truth.
Child: Must be scary no?
Basva said.. Yeah and you know what.. Scary.. Alive.. Real
Something he hadn’t been in a long long while.
He sighed… A call was being made, something was being asked of him..
If there’s one thing watching his father taught him. Living life consciously and from the heart is a great game, the ideas of what’s valuable, our own unconsciousness and our illusions of the world we want to build gets in the way of true peace and love.
Would the last words of his father be the beginning of something anew?
I saw her pour hot water today.
From a thermos to my brothers mug.
Making sure nothing spilled anywhere.
So much care…
Something about how grounded and centered she was.
As she was doing it.
Simple, present and Here!
And that look of being gracefully concerned..
So totally present! So easy, so simple.
My heart welled up with gratitude.
My eyes with unwept tears.
I took a while to register what just happened.
I saw God today.
And she was pouring hot water from a flask to my brothers mug.
When the Divine starts loving, it breaks everything down.
So simply, so quietly.
With the tenderness of a wildflower,
And the intimacy and closeness akin to the warmth of our breath.
Snuggled, nestled and cradled on the bosom and Heart of Life.
The Call of it is Clear at each instant..
Surrender! Surrender! Surrender!
Then for the first time again,
There’ll be the big bang once more.
Within our very own hearts
The Big Bang of Love!
In the right kind of relationship, we start seeing the divine in and as everything. We see the divine in the one we love, and then in everything that animates itself in the world and Universe. This is the highest possibility of Love and relationship. Always has been, always will be. An ever lasting eternal love that keeps reigniting and renewing itself to itself. That’s why love is so highly regarded, that’s why everything transforms in love. We all know this intuitively. Love above all Else! Love above all Else!
To see the Divine, the One, in your Beloved and then see the same one, in everything and everyone. That is the highest possibility of relationship. This is our birthright.
It’s always been about this. Always. Ask your heart.. It’ll whisper..
For all those who are hurting with wounds they can’t speak about. I know how hard it gets, trust me i do. The pain, confusion, the lonesomeness, the unworthiness.. Even though anything i say can’t even begin to comprehend or come close to it. I feel you, i hear you.
And i want to remind you there is a beauty in this. A phenomenal beauty that we as the world are yet unequipped to deal with. There is immensity in you and your journey is deeply sacred even if most of the world runs it down or laughs it off. I have the deepest respect for you and your scars and wounds. It is those that will finally be our salvation and liberation. It is those that will finally make us surrender so that our hearts may shape our lives.. That your scars and wounds sting as they might.. bring you anew. Awake you into the Heart of Blessed Eternal love.. I don’t look at these things as something to be solved for if stayed with and embodied they turn Into the Resolution themselves.. Into the Deep Trust at your own feet, movement and expression that no one and i repeat no one or nothing can take from you. For then we can finally be free.. Free to Love.. It is the darn wound precisely that will goddamn heal us…
Blessed are the lepers in the kingdom of God for they remind us of the sacredness of our skin, Blessed are the hateful in the kingdom of God for they remind us of the capacity of Great Love in our hearts. Blessed are the broken, for they make the world whole again. Blessed are the lost, as they come back knowing there is no ‘The” way.
For in Love’s kingdom we are all one. One Heart! One Unity! Maybe Different expressions, different paths.. You are holy and innocent belonging to the arms of Grace Herself! who is the earliest. And there each ounce of our brokenness is redeemed whole and you remember with a deep sigh of relief ..you were never broken to begin with.